Today was a day full of promise for so many local school kids I encountered today.  I watched the shiny young faces as they waited in anticipation.  Cheerleaders lined up in their rows, dancers waiting in the wings, musicians watching for their conductor and actors waiting for their cue. Then they put on their shows. All of them amazing.  The blood, sweat and tears having been ever so worth it.

There was one beautiful face missing, though her name was everywhere.  On bright blue t-shirts, a shiny new street sign, whispered in the wind and on everyone's hearts.  

Do you want to know what's awesome about putting liquid eyeliner on a wiggly, giggly ten year old?

Nothing.  There is nothing awesome about that.

Those of you who are my friends on Facebook may have seen me share this sentiment before, but honestly, it's worth a second mention so that you may delight in my total Toddlers & Tiaras moment.

First and foremost, I am a procrastinator.  It's not like I don't know how stressful performance days are, we've been doing this going on 8 years now.  For whatever reason, it always seems to come down to the last 20 minutes and I'm screaming and running around like a lunatic and said 10 year old is thoroughly enjoying the show.  Hence the wiggling and giggling.  Also, the very minute I need to get to work on her face is also the very minute she needs  to pee and needs  to find her earbuds, and scratch her nose and whatever else she can think of.

Just so you know, the best stage eyeliner is like a combination of a felt tip pen and a sharpie.  God help you if you screw that up, because you will be starting from scratch.  Don't ask how I know this.  Just don't.

Honestly, the getting ready is my least favorite part of the performance, and hers as well.  Thank goodness after 8 years we've gotten the bun almost down to an art form and maybe one day we will master that eyeliner!

Of course it was all worth it, as it always is, the minute she stepped on the stage and lit it up.  Now that is something I will never grow weary of.  

I love waiting. Waiting's my favorite.

Um, no.  Not really.  I think I am the person least equipped for waiting on the planet.  Like ever.  But here I sit.  Waiting.  What am I waiting for?  Only the first in what will be a long line of acceptance (I don't even want to think about the alternative) letters Lauren will receive in her life.

Last month was February to the rest of the world.  For thousands of anxious parents across Miami-Dade county it was Magnet Audition month.  For us, that involved searching for the right song, a collaborative effort in choreographing a 1 minute audition piece, momma chewing her nails off with anxiety and a very cool, calm and collected 10 year old smiling with pride that she "nailed it!"  I probably should have blogged about it at the time, but honestly, couldn't bring myself to do it.  The odds alone are frightening.  I'm estimating at least 300 girls auditioning for at most 35 spots.

Now comes the fun part.  The Wait.  Letters get mailed March 15-20.  Fingers are crossed.  Prayers are said.

The New Mean Girls

I don't even know where to start with this post.  It's been weighing heavily on my heart for days and I know I need to "get it out."  Sigh.  Last week in the cafeteria of my daughter's school some girls began to pick on another girl.  Apparently it's a frequent occurrence, but that day she began to cry.  Two girls, one of whom is a close friend of my daughter, took action and notified the security personnel.  However, this made them the new targets and by the end of the day they were receiving threats and nasty text messages.  My daughter's good friend was called a "hoe," and was threatened several times that she was going to get her ass beat.  The harassing continued for days, even though the school administration had been notified.  To their credit however, the bullies did receive a three-day suspension, each, later in the week.

Since a portion of the threats took place on Facebook, I was forced to take a long hard look at Lauren's page, going through friend by friend of those I had (at least thought) I had carefully added.  I saw a status that read "Blank and Blank are bitches, I don't like them!"  Another of her friends, a classmate, recently changed her middle name on FB to read "Clitoris."  My jaw hit the ground.

Oh, did I mention these were 10 and 11 year olds.  Yeah, 5th graders still in elementary school.  I can barely wrap my mind around it.

Epic Eye Roll

This article  popped up on my Facebook feed the day after the Presidential Inauguration.  I watched the video a few times looking for this "epic eye roll." While I'll admit there's a little smirking going on and I would certainly love to know what the first lady was thinking (I'm sure it was hilarious) anyone who thinks that was an epic eye roll must not know very many kids in 10-17 year-old range.  Or my daughter.  Of course, withering facial expressions are her specialty, so there's that.

Epic eye roll, my ass.  Spend an hour in this house working on 5th grade math and you'll soon learn what an eye roll is supposed to look like.

Speaking of 5th grade math and the government, I'm convinced this new way of teaching elementary school math is some sort of plot to torture parents and make them crazy.  It's like someone said, "hey instead of teaching them the most simple, straightforward way to get the answer, let's make it completely convoluted with as many steps as possible and plenty of opportunity to make careless mistakes!" It is insane. INSANE, I tell you.  And let's be completely honest, long division?  Has no place in real life.  There. I said it.

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It's deewishus...also, boys are (kind of) gross.

Kellan is a dirt magnet.  Like, two steps out the door on our way out and he's already dug up a snail while I was locking the door kind of dirt magnet.  There is no escaping an evening bath for him and if I'm honest with myself, he could probably use one before his nap as well, but let's not get crazy.  There is a water shortage, people.  Last night while he was in the tub I turned to grab a towel and he stuck his face in the water and drank it.  I should have expected it.  He's going through this dog phase and I've caught him trying to drink out of the dog bowl a few times.  GAG.  Anyway,  I tell him "ew, no, that's yucky and dirty!"  And his response to me?  "It's water!  It's deewishus!"  Now, I've been telling him that for weeks to get him to drink water out of his cup. Apparently it's more delicious out of the tub with dirt and (probably) pee than a cup with ice.   Awesome.

E~

2013: A Big Year

This is going to be a big year.  Exciting.  Scary.  I figure, why not overshare the horrors and joys with you, dear people of the internet. This is the year I will turn 40 and my first baby will start middle school.  Both of these events are still long off and right now I am at the point of just giving them some major side eye.  I know they're out there.  Looming in the distance.  I don't have to deal just yet, but little reminders keeping zinging me here and there.  I see you 40.  I see you Middle School.  We'll get there. 

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